lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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