Buhtt sex?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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