would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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