First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize