Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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