I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
