I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
