Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
