So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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