i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
