Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
