if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
