Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
