I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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