Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize