Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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