HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
