I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
