Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
