It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
