So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
