We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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