I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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