god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
