Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
