it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
