I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
