when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
