if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
