I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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