Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
