I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
