I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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