it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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