He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
My vagina just recognized that song.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize