Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
