Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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