You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
