you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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