There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
40s are totally the cure
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize