hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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