I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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