I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
