no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
