You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
