I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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