Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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