margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
