Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
