can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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