the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
