I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
