i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
