so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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