Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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