it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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