i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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