My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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