I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
