And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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