she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
