i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
