hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
