there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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