Sry I called you an 8
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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