After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
