she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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