New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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