He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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