yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
