Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
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