Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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