I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
