had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
