dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
