I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
we should paint friendship bongs
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