Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
