That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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