you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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