If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
