you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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