Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
