is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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